Old School

I've never been a big telephone guy.

Even back when I was a kid and the chicks called my house to talk to me in order to impress me I'd shun the telephone.

"TS!", my mother would cry out when the phone rang and some hot eighth-grader wanted to hear my velvety voice woo her for a movie date, "it's for you!"

To hell with it, I had no use for the telephone. Sure, I'd go make out with said babe in the movie house, but I wasn't about to make a date out of it. Over the phone!

I wanted to suck her tongue, not talk to her!

I didn't like phone conversations. I feel the same way all these years later.

Alas, I was just gifted minutes on a small cell phone: the thing is so tiny it feels like an unhatched sparrow egg in my hands.

Quite unusable.

I gave my new number to a friend today. He called and left a voice mail.

Unintelligible.

How does this shit work?

I miss land lines. Do they even have land lines these days?



TS