The writer is funny and has a full appreciation of how ridiculous the football recruiting process has become.
I was recruited when I played high school football, a few letters came in the mail. A couple of phone calls.
That was a long time ago when few people understood how the whole thing would blow up, how coaches would be earning two and three million, or more, annually.
Hell, college was inexpensive back then. If you didn't get a scholarship you worked in the summer and saved to pay your tuition.
Now a scholarship is more valuable than ever, because college is more expensive than ever.
The process has become as cutthroat as any other big business.
TS
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