Don't laugh, but football is just like war. It really is, because Nike has designed these cool camouflaged unis for Oregon's Civil War football game with OSU Friday afternoon.
You see, in the real world we're fighting wars to protect Nike and other major corporations from the Muslim rabble, the communists, and the union organizers in Third World manufacturing centers where workers are paid pennies on a dollar.
Which is how we like it right? How it should be?
So you and I can dress in Nike, mind you. So Oregon can win football games and look like warriors while doing it. Just doing it, I mean.
This is called "freedom." All the boys and girls who would like to go to college or find a decent paying job are after all free to join the US Army and play out their football dreams on a battlefield of our government's choice.
There's plenty to choose from, too.
Everybody knows war is just like American football. Only, you know, more people die in an actual war.