Merry Christmas!!

Christmas Poem*


Them Russians have made this a very difficult
Christmas for Americans because Putin is evil!

Them Russians have pilfered our clothes and
made us run naked into the abyss of our dreams.

Them Russians have put our heads on a block
and brought a bloody blade down upon our necks.

Them Russians have taken our  humor to Mars
and made it a plaything for Putin's henchmen.

Them Russians have stolen our freedoms and
traded them to Raul Castro for a barrel of rum.

Them Russians made us despise democracy
and cringe every time we hear Hillary cackle.

Them Russians abused the good name of Fyodor
and gave us thousands of inferior novelists.

Them Russians have greased us with Slavic
idioms when all we ever knew was Noam Chomsky.

Them Russians have seized our souls and placed
them in an unbearable coldwater flat in Omaha.

Them Russians have forced us into the fields
to harvest the crops amid our New Gilded Age.

Them Russians have destroyed our democracy and
given us dear illusions we hold like rare gourds.

Them Russians are armed to the teeth and
threatening our innocence amid the "war on terror."

Them Russians have created the wealth gap
in America and caused our hunger in St. Louis.

Them Russians have created our American anger
and the racism storming through U.S. cop shops.

Them Russians are giving our Democrats and
plutocrats a vodka headache and thirty lashes.

Them Russians have little in common with you
while you are under the spell of CNN and FOX.

Them Russians have designed a colonial U.S.
that gifted us an enormous opioid dependency.

Them Russians want to take our healthcare and
give it to the profiteers lurking in Topeka.

Them Russians want to steal American babies
and send them to work camps in Siberia.

Them Russians have turned our Christmas
into a disaster and abysmal holiday in Utah.

Them Russians have destroyed our ability to
think for ourselves and now we're all Russians!

Them Russians have surrounded the Statue of
Liberty and mocked our corrupt institutions.

Them Russians have infiltrated our CIA and FBI
and made love with our lists of poor dissidents.

Them Russians have taken over our media and
embarrassed the animals in the Bronx Zoo.

Them Russians have done it again and
tricked us and turned Santa Claus against us.

Them Russians are the same mean old Russians
who plotted against our Christmas in 1962 Idaho.

Them Russians are so dangerous that we need
more bombs to scare them away and save Christmas!

Them Russians O them Russians who want to ruin
our Christmas O them Russians are everywhere!


*With apologies to A. Ginsberg


TS