A Fan's Notes

I have spent the last couple of days trying to post a few Round Bend titles to Amazon. It's a process, a little different than Lulu in that you can't preview your work without ordering a hard copy. Not a terrible problem; just say the Amazon template isn't as user friendly as Lulu's.

Perhaps Amazon will help increase RPB's visibility and all the work will pay off. I have also been adding ISBN numbers to a few titles that didn't have them.

Keeps me busy, as I gear up for a push on three new titles in various stages of progress.

I'm getting nervous about the Civil War on Saturday. Sure hope Oregon can take OSU's best punch, because the Ducks will surely get it early. Oregon needs to start faster and end its propensity for 2nd half comebacks, or late surges.

The only game they got off on quickly this season was the UCLA game. Well, aside from the New Mexico and PSU warm ups, which were scrimmages.

The Ducks preach "sixty-minutes" of effort. Maybe they ought to try it. Get in a hole one time and you may not get out, so try not to fall behind early. This is a bad time to be testing your meddle late in a game. OSU will play inspired ball and Oregon needs to attack early. Smash mouth ball.

The old knee has a gnawing, aching stiffness, and occasionally throbs. Definitely won't be dancing in the near future.

Even if Oregon beats OSU.



TS

Fakery

Undoubtedly there are people in the U.S. and abroad who want to kill Americans and remain a threat.

This kid isn't one of them, though he may have had a supposedly diabolical plot.

This deal is showtime.

Brought to you by the FBI.

The most obvious reason being that if this kid had a big plan before the FBI egged him on he could have been arrested post-haste.

This is showtime, folks. Americans will eat this shit up. Shovel it in. Then go shopping.

The truth is always in front of your nose, and it stinks.



TS

Not Quite There

I hate bandwagon fans.

I watched the Oregon/Arizona game in a local pub Friday evening and an idiot sat down beside me. He wanted to talk a little football, evidently.

He told me his kids attended Oregon, so he's a big Duck fan. He asked me if I thought Oregon could win the National Championship.

I gave my standard answer with the usual bushel of caveats. "Well, there's Auburn, and TCU and Boise State(at the time), and you know, it's difficult to say. But I hope so."

"So, who does Oregon play after this," the guy said, and I thought he was joking.

"Funny guy," I said.

"Well, who do they play next? I just follow Oregon. I don't follow any other teams. Which teams do you follow?"

"I follow football, college football; it's bigger than just Oregon."

"I'm not interested in anybody except Oregon. My kids went there. They love Oregon. So, who's your team?"

"That would be Oregon."

"Well, my kids...."

"Yes, your kids attended Oregon."

"They're big fans."

"Smart kids."

"So, who does Oregon play next?"

"That would be Oregon State."

"Are they any good?"

"I don't know. I don't think anyone knows."

"I just follow Oregon. I'm not interested in Oregon State. Are they a good team?"

"Well, they're not Auburn."

"Auburn?"

"Yes, the second ranked team in the BCS. You know?"

"No, I just follow the Ducks."

"Well, there is more to the game than just the Ducks."

An uncomfortable silence followed as I sipped my beer and tried to listen to the pregame chatter coming from the television over the bar.

"So, who is Oregon playing tonight?" my drinking buddy asked.

"I don't know. I just follow Oregon," I said, and moved to another bar stool.

(In this guy's defense, he may have been thinking more like the Ducks' players than an actual fan. The players seem to have one track minds just like his.)

TS

Right Knee Injury

I hurt my meniscus this morning getting out of bed. Heard a "pop."

I feel like Oden.

I feel like LaMichael James after 29 carries into the line.

Let's hope James is in better shape and runs down Arizona Friday night.

If the Ducks lose their edge and fall, I will plant the sword in my own gut, for this is as close as Oregon will get until next time, which may be too late for a long-suffering fans such as I.

TS

Will God Approve?

How can we be certain God will not scorn this decision?

On the other hand Boehner might be overjoyed, and we should recognize that the HML is more powerful than God.

It is presumed.



TS

Revolution or Implosion?

Bernie Sanders says it all right here.

Sanders is perhaps the greatest U.S. Senator since Wayne Morse. Morse was one of only two senators to oppose the 1964 Gulf of Tonkin Resolution granting the U.S. the "right" to drop a billion tons of bombs on Vietnam.

We need more people like Bernie Sanders in Congress.

It won't happen in my lifetime, unfortunately.

A violent revolution would have to play out first.

And that would have to occur before the planet is blown to smithereens by some wayward cabal of capitalists in the interest of "free enterprise," a more likely scenario.

This cheery message is sponsored by Round Bend Press, creator of fine books since last year at this time.


TS

Vacation, Sick Days Spent

After two weekends of full-on and then semi-illness (droopiness, dopiness, etc.) and one weekend of pure lethargy ( loopy laziness), I plan to restart Round Bend Hour on Sunday.

I have no idea yet of what I'll play, but I'm sure you'll find it pleasing. I'll pull some stuff out of the library in the next couple of days. I think I'll read a couple of poems from Cold Eye and perhaps Morandi's Bottles, KC's work in-progress.

See the Round Bend Hour link under the header above.


TS

Any Questions?

Had a very productive meeting with KC last night, looking ahead to issuing his newest poems through Round Bend.

I have every expectation that Morandi's Bottles will be a highly engaging work. As KC puts the final touches on some of the poems-- revising as authors do until someone yells "start the presses!"-- I am drafting a short publisher's preface.

We are also considering various distribution options.

KC's work is merely one of a number of projects I'd like to see go online at lulu and elsewhere over the next months. I have enough work ahead of me to fill out the 2011 calendar and beyond. I hope my energy stays up.

Aside: Bob Thomas, if you're reading this drop me an e-mail. I have some questions you need to answer. And perhaps I should also answer yours.

TS

Frog

KC Bacon and I have a meeting set for tomorrow to discuss and further shape the Round Bend Press edition of some of the Tacoma artist's latest lyrics.

The thirty-odd poems in the volume--with the likely title Morandi's Bottles--represents RBP's second foray into publishing work outside my own oeuvre.

Last month KC helped RBP bring forth Cold Eye: A Generation of Voices, poems and interviews I first published in 1978 while editing a literary tabloid in Northwest Portland.

I might add that KC and I are proud of Cold Eye; we hope our pride is justified. We think the child has college potential, if not star quality.

Morandi's Bottles contributes to a tradition-rich school of painter/poet offerings. Artists as diverse as William Blake, Charles Bukowski, Kenneth Patchen and Frank O'Hara, to name a few, made visual art, music and poetry integral parts of their artistic visions.

The inseparability of the disciplines is an underlying theme in KC's new collection, though there is much more to it than that.

Here KC looks at the world through the eyes of a prehistoric "beast:"


FROG


A cuisine of dragonflies
Hover

Near the cattails
Where I stink of beast

And haul my hungry wart
From lily to lily.


KC Bacon

I'll blog our publishing date, of course, so stay tuned.


TS

Hedges on Anti-Intellectualism

One of the most remarkable (and befuddling) facets of our times is how millions of Americans willfully accept the limitations imposed on them by the rich and powerful. As the new Congress preps to make tax cuts for the highest earners in the U.S. a permanent reality, the simple-minded right spews its ignorant anti-intellectual rhetoric, allowing rich assholes like Rand Paul and John Boehner to entrench themselves as leaders of the corporate state.

How ordinary people assume this helps their position in life remains a great mystery.

Until people awaken to the fact that these men have only their own interests and the interests of their rich friends in mind, and not the interests of all Americans, our long slide into dissolution will continue.

Here is the brilliant Chris Hedges discussing how universities stifle dissent and play the corporate game.


TS

The Toughest Test

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to hammer the opposition week in and week out like Oregon had until Saturday's close victory over the Cal Bears.

Now people are calling the Ducks frauds, lucky, overrated, blah, blah, blah.

Perhaps Oregon should have taken the foot off the pedal at certain times--you know, beat UCLA by fifteen and not thirty or more. They should have handled Washington with kid gloves, rather than clobber them with a rolling pin.

They could have let Stanford stay a little closer in the fourth quarter, win on a last second drive rather than going away.

The expectations of people, many of whom don't really understand the nuances of the game (some have played it, others haven't), create an unrealistic picture of what is involved in attempting to remain undefeated throughout a season.

Look at the top four teams in the current BCS standings. Among them, Boise State is the only team to not have a close call while remaining undefeated. But Boise doesn't play top-flight competition all year long. They beat a Va Tech team that manged to lose to James Madison the following week. By the way, JM plays second-level football, like Portland State.

Boise State also beat Oregon State. Well, a lot of luster has fallen off that win, considering that Washington State also beat the Beavers Saturday.

Boise doesn't have a quality win or a close game, in other words. They're good, but not that good.

TCU let San Diego State stay close until the end Saturday--the Horned Frogs won by five. Auburn has had four close calls this season, including three 3 point games. That's a field goal in each game, friends. But Auburn is great because they play in the supposedly regal SEC. Well one of those close calls was at Kentucky.

Kentucky?

Oregon has its Cal experience--a close call.

I'm not worried about Oregon's effort moving ahead. The players have that part of the game figured out. They know everybody is giving them their best shot.

Whether they beat Arizona by 1 point or fifty points on Nov. 26th doesn't concern me. They're at home and have something to prove, so I think they'll be fine, clinch the PAC title, guaranteeing a second consecutive Rose Bowl.

The Sears Cup is sitting in a vault in Glendale, Arizona. The Ducks want it bad--the Roses be damned.

But I think OSU in the league finale at Corvallis will be the Ducks truest test. That final hurdle is always the highest one at the end of any race.

I didn't run track, but even I know that.



TS

Watch "The Farewell Wake" Online

So I went over to Fremont Wed. night and watched the premier of CD's digital feature, which I watched with great interest. There were some outstanding performances in this no-budget project, but I can't honestly say mine was one of them. It's hard to watch oneself and not think, man, I wish I had done something else with the part, approached it differently, etc., etc. My cameo was short, so I didn't cringe too badly.

Overall I thought the feature was good, though I would have edited it differently in places. Maybe shortened a few of the sequences. The tempo was actually very nice in most places, but I thought a couple of scenes dragged. Minor quibbling, really. Many clever moments abound in the production. It's funny, wry, and sad in part.

Especially strong--the actor playing the artist/protagonist, and Deemer himself as the brother enlisted to document the artist's self-orchestrated wake. The cameos were excellent (excepting mine, of course).

The audio was hard to pick up a lot of the time, which appeared to be the fault of the equipment the bar owner used to show the movie. There was way too much treble filtering through the audio track. Consequently, I missed some dialogue.

Watching the movie here, the audio is as fine as can be expected in a no-budget, small screen production.

We watched the longer version of the movie at the premier. Watch the Director's cut online for a better representation of what Deemer accomplished.


TS

The Plan and a Warning

Tonight is the night. The Farewell Wake, a digital film by Charles Deemer, has its world premier at 7 p.m. at the Blackbird Wine Shop (4323 N.E. Fremont), in Portland, Oregon. I plan on going and behaving like Peter O'Toole and Richard Burton on a drunken night in London, circa the 60s.

That is, I will be the show and Deemer's film will be secondary, an afterthought, a mote in his Dionysian quest.

I plan to steal the show (remarkable for a 2 min. cameo)!

I will strut and preen and walk about as if I own the feature. I will slap the backsides of beautiful women and unleash my wicked, egomaniacal movie star persona on everyone. I will make a statement. Unfettered, I will box any man's ears who thinks I am a anything short of a genius!

I, TS, am the world's greatest actor!

And I will prove it to the world tonight, playing Buddy Dooley, a pathetic and jealous former friend of the movie's protagonist.

I expect the police to show up!

I will be signing autographs and accepting plaudits and glasses of wine all night.

Thank you, everybody!

TS

New Project Brewing

I am working with Tacoma artist/poet KC Bacon as he gathers some of his recent work for a new volume of poetry. The tentative plan is to issue the volume through Round Bend Press.

Yes! Yet another project to gnaw on! Keeps me busy, which I like. Maybe I'll avoid trouble, clear my head of the crushing, godawful political landscape that is threatening my well-being.

MORANDI'S BOTTLES

Gold, ginger-brown,

Tint of wine dreg

Glazed in gray-

Men with hands

In coat pockets

Lined up against a wall

Like ordinary citizens-

Framed.

K.C. Bacon

TS

Buddy Lashes Back

I found Dooley deep in the darkest corner of a windowless dive bar in Old Town yesterday afternoon. He was nursing a Crown Royal and a beer back. He initially ducked under his table when I walked in. I coaxed him out with the offer of another round.

TS: Where were you today? For that matter, where were you last weekend? Why do you tell me you're going to show up and host Round Bend Hour and then flake off?

BD: That's none of your concern... (long pause) Would it satisfy you to hear I've been sick? With the flu, or something like it?

TS: You're a little sick in the head, that's all. What do you have? Ennui? Malaise? Angst?

BD: I consider those unavoidable conditions of modernity. You know, you come off looking like an ass when you pressure me. Particularly when you say those rotten things about me on air.

TS: I'm tired of having to alibi for you.

BD: Fine! (hoisting his glass) Cheers...

TS: Where do we go from here, Buddy?

BD: I have a suggestion for you, pal. Get a gun, load it, point it toward your temple, squeeze...

TS: Tsk...Tsk...

BD: Get off my back.

TS: But you wanted to be on the radio. You said, "Yes, yes, yes..."

BD: Like Molly Bloom!

TS: Exactly!

(long silence)

BD: The radio seduces, stirs longings, conjures magnificent love, clairvoyance, hope.

TS: But you spurn love and hope. And you're no clairvoyant, that is for sure.

BD: I don't like you, TS.

TS: You don't like yourself. Learn to love yourself, Buddy. Learn to be one with...

BD: Don't say it...

TS: The universe.

BD: So you're attacking Boehner now? Does that make you feel manly? Does that make up for some obvious inadequacies in your life? What's the deal with that? I like Boehner. Seems like a reasonable man. Very patriotic. Very pro-family. Pro-marriage. Pro-money.

TS: He's a corporate shill.

BD: They all are, TS. He's just better at it than the others. He won the war in the trenches.

TS: I don't want to talk about Boehner.

BD: You want to talk football, don't you?

TS: Can they do it?

BD: No.

TS: Why not?

BD: Too much pressure. It's mounting. You feel it. They feel it. The coaches feel it. Something will go wrong. Look at Costa. Hurt his leg. That's not a good sign.

TS: Yeah, ouch...

BD: You agree with me? My, you are a pessimist...

TS: What do you really believe, Buddy?

BD: I don't care.

TS: What?

BD: You heard me. I don't care.

TS: I don't believe that.

BD: I don't care about your Ducks. I don't care about your radio show. I don't care how you feel about Boehner.

TS: Why do I talk to you? Why did I just buy you a drink?

BD: Because you are the idiot, TS.

(long silence)

TS: Are you going to watch my cameo Wednesday night at the Blackbird Wineshop?

BD: Ha...ha...ha...

TS: Fuck off, Buddy.

BD: Ha...ha...ha...

(click)

TS

Poverty and Prisons

James Carroll contributes this astute Boston Globe piece on the failure of the U.S.
prison system.

Read the comments section, particularly "siouxrose," who writes (in part):

"This wounded and wounding nation is equally committed to bringing the same punitive measures to those residing in foreign lands. In those instances, the brutal, deadly efforts are also hidden behind PR and word-camouflage. The most popular (and outrageous) are those which conflates the gifts of freedom, democracy, and/or liberation with the unmasking of sheer, raw campaigns of terror."



TS

Boehner More Corrupt Than Gingrich?

Read all about it!

This from the Independent, the greatest newspaper in the world.

Another Independent voice.

And Patrick's big brother chimes in.

While Ishmael Reed exposes the real Eisenhower.

I needed a dose of reality. Perhaps you did too.

TS

Out Sick

Whatever it is that's going around, I've got it.

I'm sick (in the old-fashioned sense).

TS

Idiot of the Week (John Boehner)

Round Bend Press is pleased to announce another Idiot of the Week Award. He is your shit clown, America. Enjoy!

John Boehner in His Own Words

And that is why marriage and family law has emphasized the importance of marriage as the foundation of family, addressing the needs of children in the most positive way.

The Truth: Unmarried people are not automatically incapable of addressing the needs of children.

Before the trip began we mapped out three primary goals: 1) to see and meet with our American troops, and thank them for their bravery and sacrifice; 2) to assess the security situation in Iraq; and 3) to give our support to Iraq's national unity government.

The Truth: The U.S. created a puppet government in the Middle East that has neither secured the country nor created a consensus.

During the 1990s, world leaders looked at the mounting threat of terrorism, looked up, looked away, and hoped the problem would go away.

The Truth: Let's allow that this is an over generalized assumption and nothing more.

Each and every day, Israel's very existence is at stake.

The Truth: Israel has brought much of its misery upon itself.

House Republicans want to pass a strong border security, illegal immigration bill. We want a bill. There is no ifs, ands or buts about it.

The Truth: America is a highly racist society.

I am not for raising taxes on the American people in a soft economy.

The Truth: Tax cuts for the wealthy do not generate jobs.

I talked to a lot of employers who just are, are fearful of what's coming next out of Washington. It's all the spending, it's all the debt. It's their national energy tax, they want to call it cap and trade - more mandates, higher costs, more taxes. Their health care bill - more mandates, higher costs, higher taxes.

The Truth: Boehner is representing the Fortune 500 companies that run the show but employ fewer people overall than small businesses. Ordinary workers in small businesses cannot afford health care.

I think the government should do everything they possibly can to, to bring this crisis to an end; and that means going after BP, enforcing the laws that are on the books, and restoring the gulf to its original condition.

The Truth: Duh!

It's easy to kick somebody when they're down. George W. Bush has dealt with more difficult issues than any president since Franklin Roosevelt. And I've told my colleagues it's time that we go stand up for the president.

The Truth: George W. Bush came into power with a booming economy and created his own expensive problems by starting two wars. This statement is the height of obfuscation. Boehner would have disagreed with the New Deal, obviously.

It's pretty clear that over the last three months the economy has paused. And it's also pretty clear the American people are still demanding and asking the question, 'Where are the jobs?' And the reason we don't have new jobs is because of the job-killing agenda pursued by President Obama and his allies in the Congress.

The Truth: The oligarchs are smirking.

Make no mistake, a 'yes' vote on the Democrats' health care bill is a vote for taxpayer-funded abortions.

The Truth: Boehner is anti-choice.

Most recently, terrorist forces have captured Israeli soldiers and fired rockets into Israeli cities - both unprovoked. These acts of aggression deserve the rapid and decisive response they received.

The Truth: Unwanted new settlements aren't a provocation?

Mr. President, the buzz saw that your health care bill ran into wasn't lobbyists and special interests it was tens of millions of Americans who were saying, 'Stop!'

The Truth: The truth hurts, stings, in light of the millions of uninsured in the U.S., you mean.

No, let's make sure that people understand that this is a very important war that is helping to protect us here at home. And that we have no choice but to win it. As difficult as it is.

The Truth: The dual wars has exacerbated terror and are not winnable.

Our freedoms were born in the ideals of the Enlightenment and the musket fires of an historic revolution.

The Truth: This is a corruption of the historiography of the American Revolution.

Our manifesto, whatever it will be called, will come from the people who are really in charge of this country, and that's the American people.

The Truth: The American people? Ha! All this time I thought it was the oligarchy!

Protecting the institution of marriage safeguards, I believe, the American family.

The Truth: No one I know of is trying to destroy marriage. Well, my brother may be, but I don't blame him. His wife is a wingnut.

Since its first day as a nation, Israel has lived under a cloud of aggression from militant extremists and hostile neighboring governments.

The Truth: The British Mandate failed.

Spending time with America's soldiers is always inspiring.

The Truth: Boehner joined the Navy, retired eight weeks later with a "bad back."

Stem cell research must be carried out in an ethical manner in a way that respects the sanctity of human life.

The Truth: For years the U.S. government used American soldiers as guinea pigs for "research" purposes. This statement is in reality an obfuscation regarding abortion.

Studies show that children best flourish when one mom and one dad are there to raise them.

The Truth: Can we get back to reality for a moment? Every single study?

The aggressive, unprovoked acts of violence against Israel by Hezbollah and Hamas are revealing. It is clear they don't want peace, but rather seek the ultimate destruction of Israel.

The Truth: Violence begets violence.

The American people are screaming at the top of their lungs to Washington, 'Stop! Stop the spending, stop the job-killing policies.' And yet, Democrats in Washington refuse to listen to the American people.

The Truth: Thank the gods for unemployment insurance.

The job of training an Iraqi police force is one of the most important tasks being undertaken in Operation Iraqi Freedom. It is also one of the most difficult.

The Truth: And now there is a new murderous police force in Baghdad. Hooray!

The United States and Israel have a unique relationship based on our mutual commitment to democracy, freedom, and peace. Therefore, just as our commitment to these principles must be steadfast, so must our support for Israel.

The Truth: Really, in this era of endless war, declining democracy and withering freedoms? Uh?

The United States did not choose to fight Islamic extremists. These terrorists chose to fight our way of life. They chose to challenge our existence.

The Truth: Take a cold shower, Boehner. And don't forget your morning douche.

The value of the majority lies not in the opportunity to wield great power, but in the chance to use power to do great things.

The Truth: Any suggestions, John?

They have called Operation Iraqi Freedom a war of choice that isn't part of the real war on terror. Someone should tell that to al Qaeda.

The Truth: John, why not tell Al Qaeda to just shut its big fat mouth?

They know the importance of their mission and of America's commitment to combating and defeating terrorism abroad, and they know that they are making a real difference in bringing freedom to a part of the world that has known only tyranny.

The Truth: A lot of them are uneducated and simply couldn't find a decent job and joined the military. Others are simply trying to figure out who they are.

This resolution simply says Israel has the right to defend itself. This includes conducting operations both inside its borders and in the territory of nations that threaten it, which is in accordance with international law.

The Truth: Ha! Ha! You crack me up, John. You're concerned about international law? Ha!

We can continue to make significant strides in the scientific community by exploring new stem cell research methods that do not include destroying human embryos.

The Truth: Let us not limit the possibilities inherent in science based on some fantasy of faith.

We have no stronger ally anywhere in the world than Israel.

The Truth: Has Great Britain heard about this?

While 45 of the 50 States have either a State constitutional amendment or a statute that preserves the current definition of marriage, left-wing activist judges and officials at the local levels have struck down State laws protecting marriage.

The Truth: See above Truth.

Why don't we stop the stimulus spending? There's still about $400 billion or $500 billion of the stimulus plan that has not been spent. Why don't we stop it? It's not working.

The Truth: I need an influx of cash. Got any?

Will we fight or will we retreat? That is the question that is posed to us. Some of my friends on the other side of the aisle often refer to Iraq as a distraction.

The Truth: You have no friends and you are the distraction.

Working Americans who believe in our country and who believe in our Constitution are saying, 'Enough is enough!'

The Truth: Problem is too few of them are working.


John Boehner is clearly an idiot and deserving of our award. Right?

TS

John Mayall

John Mayall will turn 77 later this month, so Round Bend Hour has decided to go with a tribute to this revered English blues master on Sunday's (2-4) show.
Happy birthday, John! We'll play Turning Point, your 1969 masterpiece, featuring that old chestnut "Room to Move," one of the greatest blues compositions of all time.

Here's to your continued health and well-being...

Read a short bio of Mayall here.


TS

Where's Dooley? (RBH Suffers Setback)

Has anyone seen Buddy Dooley? He did a very bad thing yesterday. After promising me on a stack of bibles that he would show up and host Round Bend Hour, he disappeared (again). Is he still pissed that I mocked him in a cameo role in the upcoming (and terrific) "The Farewell Wake," the latest from Portland State University adjunct English/Screenwriting professor, Charles Deemer?

Frankly, Buddy now has me worried. I would like people around the world to pay attention. Look out for this man (child?), Dooley. I'm uncertain what he may be up to, but something tells me it may be sketchy.

Buddy is 60, and stands 4' 9." He looks young, say 8 or 9, has a gap-toothed grin, a mop of light-brown hair (or he may have shaved his head or donned a white wig to change his appearance), and he likes science and science fairs.

Authorities are hesitant to say, but all indications are they suspect foul play.

If you are reading this in India, Sri Lanka, or the heartland of the U.S., be particularly vigilant as you watch for the little man (child?).

This much I know--Buddy is a University of Southern California football fan. Consider that in light of the Trojans' humiliating defeat at the hands of the Mighty Oregon Ducks on Saturday--a terrible depression may have swept Buddy into the curlicue of madness that is prevalent among SoCal football fanatics these days, as they are distressed by the recent fortune of their once dominate football program.

It would not surprise be if directly after the harrowing loss to the Ducks Buddy boarded a jet for New Zealand.

I anxiously await the response of anyone who may glimpse the specter of Buddy, or someone like him. Every lead will be treated with utmost care and consideration as this hunt for the man (child?) unfolds.

I'm serious.

TS