Monday

What a day...

I'm doing my editing chores and making headway, but not feeling right.  I feel a little congestion coming on like I had last year around this time.  I had to go on antibiotics to knock that out.  I hope I don't have to relive the scenario.

You can't drink and carry on like an ass when you're on antibiotics, and that kind of austere life just doesn't fit my style.

I feel light-headed. (Oh, shut up!)

I love how shitty the health-care system makes you feel when you don't have a regular doctor and have to line up with the rabble to see an overwhelmed clinician in a crowded room of fellow paupers.

It's all about triage.  Those with insurance form a line here.  The rest of you?  Good luck.

Small wonder people choose denial and death.

But getting old is exactly about that for most people.  Coupled with not being the most health-minded sort, I guess I'm getting what I've paid for, suffering the existence I've created.

Who doesn't feel at times that their friends who have passed on are the lucky ones?

My film is floating around inside my head.  Its ancillary themes of death and degradation are all too clear to me. The script is not there yet.  It is the most difficult project I've taken on in my life.  I wish I'd started it 20 years ago, but then it wouldn't be what it is now.

The life I lived 20 years ago is not this life.  It's not that I've captured wisdom, I obviously haven't.  Something is creeping in and I'm not sure what it is.

I just sneezed, never a good thing.

Didn't a poet once say that "grey" is grayer than "gray?"

I'm thinking Sorrentino, but I'm likely wrong.


TS