Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Idiot of the Week (John Boehner)


Round Bend Press is pleased to announce another Idiot of the Week Award. He is your shit clown, America. Enjoy!


John Boehner in His Own Words


And that is why marriage and family law has emphasized the importance of marriage as the foundation of family, addressing the needs of children in the most positive way.

The Truth: Unmarried people are not automatically incapable of addressing the needs of children.

Before the trip began we mapped out three primary goals: 1) to see and meet with our American troops, and thank them for their bravery and sacrifice; 2) to assess the security situation in Iraq; and 3) to give our support to Iraq's national unity government.

The Truth: The U.S. created a puppet government in the Middle East that has neither secured the country nor created a consensus.

During the 1990s, world leaders looked at the mounting threat of terrorism, looked up, looked away, and hoped the problem would go away.

The Truth: Let's allow that this is an over generalized assumption and nothing more.

Each and every day, Israel's very existence is at stake.

The Truth: Israel has brought much of its misery upon itself.

House Republicans want to pass a strong border security, illegal immigration bill. We want a bill. There is no ifs, ands or buts about it.

The Truth: America is a highly racist society.

I am not for raising taxes on the American people in a soft economy.

The Truth: Tax cuts for the wealthy do not generate jobs.

I talked to a lot of employers who just are, are fearful of what's coming next out of Washington. It's all the spending, it's all the debt. It's their national energy tax, they want to call it cap and trade - more mandates, higher costs, more taxes. Their health care bill - more mandates, higher costs, higher taxes.

The Truth: Boehner is representing the Fortune 500 companies that run the show but employ fewer people overall than small businesses. Ordinary workers in small businesses cannot afford health care.

I think the government should do everything they possibly can to, to bring this crisis to an end; and that means going after BP, enforcing the laws that are on the books, and restoring the gulf to its original condition.

The Truth: Duh!

It's easy to kick somebody when they're down. George W. Bush has dealt with more difficult issues than any president since Franklin Roosevelt. And I've told my colleagues it's time that we go stand up for the president.

The Truth: George W. Bush came into power with a booming economy and created his own expensive problems by starting two wars. This statement is the height of obfuscation. Boehner would have disagreed with the New Deal, obviously.

It's pretty clear that over the last three months the economy has paused. And it's also pretty clear the American people are still demanding and asking the question, 'Where are the jobs?' And the reason we don't have new jobs is because of the job-killing agenda pursued by President Obama and his allies in the Congress.

The Truth: The oligarchs are smirking.

Make no mistake, a 'yes' vote on the Democrats' health care bill is a vote for taxpayer-funded abortions.

The Truth: Boehner is anti-choice.

Most recently, terrorist forces have captured Israeli soldiers and fired rockets into Israeli cities - both unprovoked. These acts of aggression deserve the rapid and decisive response they received.

The Truth: Unwanted new settlements aren't a provocation?

Mr. President, the buzz saw that your health care bill ran into wasn't lobbyists and special interests it was tens of millions of Americans who were saying, 'Stop!'

The Truth: The truth hurts, stings, in light of the millions of uninsured in the U.S., you mean.

No, let's make sure that people understand that this is a very important war that is helping to protect us here at home. And that we have no choice but to win it. As difficult as it is.

The Truth: The dual wars has exacerbated terror and are not winnable.

Our freedoms were born in the ideals of the Enlightenment and the musket fires of an historic revolution.

The Truth: This is a corruption of the historiography of the American Revolution.

Our manifesto, whatever it will be called, will come from the people who are really in charge of this country, and that's the American people.

The Truth: The American people? Ha! All this time I thought it was the oligarchy!

Protecting the institution of marriage safeguards, I believe, the American family.

The Truth: No
one I know of is trying to destroy marriage. Well, my brother may be, but I don't blame him. His wife is a wingnut.

Since its first day as a nation, Israel has lived under a cloud of aggression from militant extremists and hostile neighboring governments.

The Truth: The British Mandate failed.

Spending time with America's soldiers is always inspiring.

The Truth: Boehner joined the Navy, retired eight weeks later with a "bad back."

Stem cell research must be carried out in an ethical manner in a way that respects the sanctity of human life.

The Truth: For years the U.S. government used American soldiers as guinea pigs for "research" purposes. This statement is in reality an obfuscation regarding abortion.

Studies show that children best flourish when one mom and one dad are there to raise them.

The Truth: Can we get back to reality for a moment? Every single study?

The aggressive, unprovoked acts of violence against Israel by Hezbollah and Hamas are revealing. It is clear they don't want peace, but rather seek the ultimate destruction of Israel.

The Truth: Violence begets violence.

The American people are screaming at the top of their lungs to Washington, 'Stop! Stop the spending, stop the job-killing policies.' And yet, Democrats in Washington refuse to listen to the American people.

The Truth: Thank the gods for unemployment insurance.

The job of training an Iraqi police force is one of the most important tasks being undertaken in Operation Iraqi Freedom. It is also one of the most difficult.

The Truth: And now there is a new murderous police force in Baghdad. Hooray!

The United States and Israel have a unique relationship based on our mutual commitment to democracy, freedom, and peace. Therefore, just as our commitment to these principles must be steadfast, so must our support for Israel.

The Truth: Really, in this era of endless war, declining democracy and withering freedoms? Uh?

The United States did not choose to fight Islamic extremists. These terrorists chose to fight our way of life. They chose to challenge our existence.

The Truth: Take a cold shower, Boehner. And don't forget your morning douche.

The value of the majority lies not in the opportunity to wield great power, but in the chance to use power to do great things.

The Truth: Any suggestions, John?

They have called Operation Iraqi Freedom a war of choice that isn't part of the real war on terror. Someone should tell that to al Qaeda.

The Truth: John, why not tell Al Qaeda to just shut its big fat mouth?

They know the importance of their mission and of America's commitment to combating and defeating terrorism abroad, and they know that they are making a real difference in bringing freedom to a part of the world that has known only tyranny.

The Truth: A lot of them are uneducated and simply couldn't find a decent job and joined the military. Others are simply trying to figure out who they are.

This resolution simply says Israel has the right to defend itself. This includes conducting operations both inside its borders and in the territory of nations that threaten it, which is in accordance with international law.

The Truth: Ha! Ha! You crack me up, John. You're concerned about international law? Ha!

We can continue to make significant strides in the scientific community by exploring new stem cell research methods that do not include destroying human embryos.

The Truth: Let us not limit the possibilities inherent in science based on some fantasy of faith.

We have no stronger ally anywhere in the world than Israel.

The Truth: Has Great Britain heard about this?

While 45 of the 50 States have either a State constitutional amendment or a statute that preserves the current definition of marriage, left-wing activist judges and officials at the local levels have struck down State laws protecting marriage.

The Truth: See above Truth.

Why don't we stop the stimulus spending? There's still about $400 billion or $500 billion of the stimulus plan that has not been spent. Why don't we stop it? It's not working.

The Truth: I need an influx of cash. Got any?

Will we fight or will we retreat? That is the question that is posed to us. Some of my friends on the other side of the aisle often refer to Iraq as a distraction.

The Truth: You have no friends and you are the distraction.

Working Americans who believe in our country and who believe in our Constitution are saying, 'Enough is enough!'

The Truth: Problem is too few of them are working.


John Boehner is clearly an idiot and deserving of our award. Right?

TS

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