Safeway's Tyranny

It can be ascertained that Safeway's facile, overly friendly customer service campaign is bogus. Not that we didn't know from the get go that nobody, and I mean not even Joe Friendly of Friendly Township USA, is that friendly all the time.

I have for over a month now been blogging at the Safeway cafe inside the Jefferson St. store in Portland. I buy coffee, donuts and lunch and sometimes dinner there to support my peaceful will to co-existence, and I have never been asked to leave or to move along. Last month I spent $200 in the store.

Today I went to work there and the power in the cafe was out. Unsubstantiated rumors spoken by some of the regulars have it that the store is trying to weed out the assorted homeless and hangers-on at the cafe. The powers that be have altogether lost their friendliness in other words. They've blown it out of the sky with a missile of contempt for the down and out. While they obviously have the right to run the store in any manner they like, I have the right to say fuck you. So much for their happiness campaign.

This is where things go sideways as I relate what happened next. I can tell you without reservation that the friendly campaign ended suddenly, having run smack into a not-so-friendly swell of reality.

Assuming management may be unaware of the power situation, I told a worker in "customer service" about it. She was pleasant enough, though not terribly friendly in the usual manner, and called the manager's office.

Great I thought, someone will check the circuits for that section of the store and Round Bend Press will be back in business. Waiting, I ran my battery down as I researched various topics for this exceptional blog, trying to keep my patience, before trying another angle. I approached a young man in an orange vest. The vest is Safeway's universal sign of friendliness.

I give you verbatim the ensuing conversation, because it was pointless and an absolute sign that the charade is over at Safeway

I said, "Young man, do you know the power is out in the cafe?"

"The power doesn't work, sir," he said with a terseness that surprised me, given the friendly nature of the Jefferson St. store, but which did not surprise me knowing the friendly campaign is completely false.

"Yes, I know that. Do you know if it will be repaired soon? I mean, is anyone working on the situation?"

"The power doesn't work, sir." The kid pursed his lips like a pouting adolescent listening to a father's admonishments.

"I think I understand that."

"The power doesn't work, sir." Any semblance of friendliness had become extinct.

"Well, perhaps someone ought to check the breakers."

"The power doesn't work, sir."

I walked away. I have other places to go. When I left the homeless and computer users were grumbling, in a state of common dissonance, scheming revenge.

They should try blogging, like me.

The "sirs" in the kid's conversation were as empty as his head. The unsubstantiated rumors are likely true. The kid was scripted by his overseers. He was living in fear of saying something meaningful, of stepping outside the corporate circle, or thinking for himself.

More corporate tyranny to help me through the day. Thank you, Safeway. Happy 4th of July! You are certainly celebrating the spirit of America. You are a wonderful example of my basic theme. You are corporate buttheads.

TS